Slices Of Life

By: Jill Pertler

This column idea started innocently enough. Dating after 50. How much could there be to write about such a narrow topic?

Turns out that might be a facetious question. The original column spurned a part two, and now, here, a part three. I’m not promising this is the last, because I guess dating after 50 is complex, interesting and just a little bit hilarious.

Who would’ve guessed?

Certainly not me because – I’ve said it before, but I’ll write it again. My last dating experience ended in 1987. So, I’m beyond unqualified to write on the topic. Still, here I go: dating life in the 20s versus the 50s.

In your 20s: You hope to find love, get married and maybe one day change diapers.

In your 50s: You hope to find love, get married and never have to change any diapers (but I guess that depends).

20s: You desire someone with a good heart (figuratively).

50s: You desire someone with a good heart (literally).

20s: You value someone who brings you flowers.

50s: You value someone who brings you an extra jacket.

20s: You hope to date someone who, like you, collects vintage vinyl records because it’s the hot new thing

50s: You hope to date someone who, like you, owns dozens of vinyl records because it used to be a thing.

20s: You met your current person after swiping right

50s: You met your current person after side-swiping their car in the CVS parking lot.

20s: After a good date you check your notifications.

50s: After a good date you check your voice mail.

20s: You’d like to find someone who, like you, prefers their coffee Americano (iced) with a double shot of espresso, a dollop of whipped cream and a dusting of cinnamon (Ceylon).

50s: You’d like to find someone who, like you, prefers their coffee black, like a real American drinks it.

20s: You are attracted to someone with a good set of values.

After 50: You are attracted to someone with a good set of teeth.

20s: You enjoy sharing a good night out at the club.

After 50: You enjoy sharing a good club sandwich.

20s: You met your first girlfriend at hot yoga.

50s: You met your first spouse when she was wearing a hot toga.

20s: New Year’s Eve involves a kiss at midnight; then let the party begin!

50s: New Year’s Eve involves a kiss at midnight; then let the sleeping begin!

20s: You look for someone who is low maintenance.

50s: You look for someone who is good with home maintenance.

20s: Your definition of risky business involves Bitcoin.

50s: Your definition of risky business involves Tom Cruise in his underwear dancing on a couch.

Dating is an adventure at any age, but after a certain one – say 50 or more – life becomes interesting in a whole new way. An infinite future gives way to a finite one (which has always been finite; we just never realized it). The challenges of parenting give way to the joys of grandparenting. The certainty of youth gives way to the wisdom of age.

Through it all, a few things remain constant. Laughter is one that comes to mind.

At least I hope it is a constant. If it isn’t, it should be, for all of us – at any and every age.

Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright and author. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.