Slices Of Life

By: Jill Pertler

It was a serious day in the garden. Various vegetables gathered to witness the much-anticipated criminal fraud case against corn. Corn had filed a countersuit claiming defamation of character and vegetative discrimination. These historic proceedings would hopefully answer the question plaguing the human and plant kingdoms since the dawn of time: Is corn a grain or vegetable?

Corn entered the courthouse amid chants of, “Grain, grain, grain,” from the other vegetables in attendance. Broccoli and cauliflower threw quinoa at him.

The bailiff, a head of iceberg, rolled in and asked...